Friday, March 30, 2012

Buenos Aires vs. Gambier

Cannot sleep. Its 2:25 in the morning and I am awake because I have so much anxiety about going abroad that I just keep thinking of things that could go wrong, and reasons why I shouldn't go. I am so conflicted. On on hand I really want to get better at speaking Spanish and there is no better way than to go to Buenos Aires, but on the other hand I don't want to leave home, and by home I mean Gambier. On top of the stress of being alone and starting from scratch with new people, I keep worrying that I won't have enough money to live off of while I am there. Which them leads to thoughts of how I am gonna have to work as much as I can during the school year, and then some more over the summer to try to finance this venture. And the stress of trying to be able to afford going somewhere where I have reservations about going in the first place is just putting me over the edge. Hence my dilemma. I have to let them know tomorrow if I want to get a number in the housing lottery if I decide not to go. Although, if I decided not to go, I will be the only one of my friends that is staying. UGH. I am damned if I do, damned if I don't. Maybe I should take the Merce Cunningham approach and let fate decide. 

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